


I Did it For You

by Ladyhawk_lhflu



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Dark, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 10:08:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5535932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyhawk_lhflu/pseuds/Ladyhawk_lhflu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skinner must do the unthinkable to save Mulder, post One Son</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Did it For You

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 1999

I look into your eyes. The despair on your face freezes me to the spot. You don't realize that I  
just saved your soul.

My lover, how can I explain what she was doing to you? That she had your soul so swallowed up  
inside her contemptuous eyes that I didn't think I'd ever get you back?

I followed them. After the rebels' attack and their escape, I followed them. It took all of my  
resources: The Bureau, Scully, your three paranoid friends. All of us knew the price that was at  
stake here. And all of us knew the needs of the one outweighed the needs of the many this time.

By the time we got all the information we needed, she was in Rhode Island, not too far from your  
parents' old summer home. I followed her there as quickly as I could.

The plane ride was painful. As we took off, my mind rocked with the implications of what I was  
doing. I could be fired, just when I got you back under my care. Scully could be let go, and  
leave you without the partner you so desperately need. I know she is your soulmate. She is so  
good to you. Even when you tore both our hearts apart by going to Diana, she only paused  
momentarily before chasing after you again. Her soul keeps yours sane. I wouldn't have it any  
other way.

But I didn't want her to have to bear the guilt of what we must do. It's bad enough you felt  
betrayed when she doubted your sanity in trusting Diana. I didn't want to take the chance of  
shattering a partnership that was already starting to fracture. I could love you from afar, if  
need be. Her place is by your side, no matter what.

So I sat in that seat in coach with a heavy heart, guessing that our relationship was over the  
minute I stepped on this plane. My only consolation was that I'd get a chance at that black-  
lunged bastard as well.

I didn't know you were on to us. I didn't know that your genius mind recovered that quickly from  
finding your enemy-turned-ally, the weasel himself, dead in what I always considered your  
office, no matter who was occupying it.

Of course he didn't commit suicide. Kersch could even see it, if he opened his eyes. I could see  
the cigarette smoke hanging in the air. What would drive a man to kill his own son? Maybe the  
same thing that drove me to this? Love? I doubt it, at least in his case.

What I was saying was. . .You followed me, that I know. How far behind were you? Did you know  
what I was planning? What do you think of me now, now that I have invisible blood on my hands?

I found her at the house. Your house. The one Scully says haunts your dreams. You never spoke of  
the house to me, even after you woke up screaming your sister's name. It's just as well. It'll  
haunt my dreams now.

They were together. He, with his ever-present cigarette, was sitting on the couch. He didn't  
even bother to pull the dustcloth off it before he sat down. She was more considerate. The  
armchair she was perched in was the same color as the dust lying on the floor. The color of  
pain.

I just walked into the house. Neither of them had bothered to lock the door. They must have  
known they couldn't hide anymore. Either from us or from the demons trying to take our world. It  
isn't the comfort I thought that realization would be. It just means we can't hide from them  
either.

Fear shone in his eyes when he looked at me. He knew I had the chance to kill him, and unlike  
you, the truth wouldn't stop me from doing so. But he sat there calmly as you please. His  
lifetime of planning had fallen apart in a few days. I guess he didn't have much left to lose.

She pulled out her gun in her anxiety. Did she discern why I was here? Was she defending herself  
or the crumbling set of events she helped set into motion? You'd know better than I.

Without a word, she fired a shot at me. Her hand was shaking so badly that the bullet didn't  
even graze me when it went past. As a defender of the people, that's all the excuse I needed. My  
gun shot up before I could think. The next thing I knew, a red stain was forming on her breast  
as she fell to the floor.

The bastard was a coward. I was still dazed when he ran past me to escape my calm wrath. 

I followed his path with my eyes, not even attempting to raise my gun. We will meet again, him  
and I. Next time is soon enough.

The weight of my conscience was heavy enough as I stood there. Weariness nearly pulled me to the  
floor when I saw your startled eyes peering back at me from the shadows. "Walter?"

I have no defense for what I did. I'm not going to use the excuse of self-defense. We both know  
it's not really true.

Your eyes are haunted as I sit here giving you the truth. I wonder how I can survive without  
you. I know you can't love me anymore.

But you surprise me, as you always tend to do. "How could I have fallen into her trap? How could  
I have risked you and Scully to follow her down the path I was trying to prevent?"

I have no answer for you love, except that love makes us do just about anything. I have first-  
hand experience there. 

My heart quickens in spite of everything. You're eyes shine with tears in the dim light, but I  
have accomplished my goal. The fire is back and stronger than ever. 

We walk outside where the rain is pouring from the heavens. You pause at the bottom of the steps  
and gaze back at the house as if itself was a demon. When you turn toward me and fall into my  
arms, I am so startled, I nearly drop you.

Sobs wrack your frame. I don't know if your crying from relief, mourning, or just the stress of  
the past week. But I hold you as you clutch my arms.

Three small words pass your lips. I don't respond to them for once. I don't think they are for  
me.

But you prove me wrong with your next words: "You saved me."

\-----------------------------------------------------------


End file.
